You want to let go of your past,

but you feel like your past won’t let go of you.

The flashbacks and the nightmares are overwhelming.

You avoid certain places, certain activities in order to establish a sense of basic safety.  You miss out on life with friends and family because the world simply seems

too foreign, too frightening, or too unforgiving.

 

Your mind is constantly replaying what your heart can’t seem to delete.

 

You’re irritated and angry.  You’ve lashed out at loved ones.  You’ve lost it in public.

You feel out of control, like you’re watching someone else live your life,

like someone else is driving the car. 

 

You’re filled with fear and horror.  You don’t want to remember what happened,

but it’s seared onto the screen of your mind, like a movie being played on repeat.

You want to hit pause, or even better, turn the whole thing off.

 

Like oil, sludge, or slime staining a shirt, you feel covered in guilt and shame.

No matter how hard you scrub and clean, you can’t seem to remove the stain.

You feel dirty, detached, unable to love, and can’t find any measure of happiness.   

 

The struggle is more than real.  It’s your life.

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You’re tired of being angry.  You’re tired of always being on alert.

You’re tired of being unable to focus.

You want a break from the persistent sense of heartbreak and gutwrench.

 

You’re over it.  Like last year over it.

 

You’re ready to take back your life. 

You’re ready for happiness.

You’re ready for a good night’s sleep.

You’re ready to feel loved and give love.

 

You’re ready to let go of your past

and break your past’s icy, vice-like grip on your life.